We all build walls...

...not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down.

7/09/12 (First Day)

"Is there anybody out there?"

Wow, what a day. I'm typing this curled up in bed right not and I am exahusted. Afte leaving STC, I went over to a freinds house to pick him up to have dinner and then go to the Roger Waters Live concert at the RBC center. Forthose of you who don know (as I didn't) Roger Waters is the lead singer/songwriter of Pink Floyd. The concert...was insane.

Pink Floyd-- "Mother"

This past week before STC I went to New York to see the Pride festival and parade down Fifth Avenue. The energy was incredible. It's like a wave of sound crashing over you, passing through you, atomizing your own energy and essence and making the rush even stronger. This concert made the parade almost pale in comparison.

I always forget how big the RBC center is until I walk into it. I spent the entire time staring at Roger Waters with that hugely bright spotligt on him, and imagining what a rush it must be to perform in front of that many people. And it was definitely a performance. And those thousands of people, making all that noise, they were all there for him. Just him.

The concert itself was indefinably loud. I mean, when you get that loud, there are really no subtleties. There's only the fact that it's loud. I think I permanently lost some of my hearing ability. I'll probably be coming in tommorow looking hungover. Don't worry about it.

Every day I walk into class, I'm never expecting to be surprised. I always feel like maybe I've finally gotten a handle on everything I need to know. And every day, I am pleasantly, yet completely, shocked. Even though it was the first day, today was no different. The first surprise of the day came when I was asked to define respect. I know how it's used, what it means. I know what it means in regards to others and ti my community and to myself. But today I had to think for a minute. Putting a concept like respect into words is difficult. I learned a long time ago, the only way to really learn something is to make a mistake. I know what respect means. But having to stop and think about it--that was a new experience

The second surprise of the day came when I was asked to dance, along with the other Ariels. I've always admired dancers. I think a lot of us have. It's kind of an always-there, always-hidden desire in the back of your head-- to be a dancer. For me, at least, this is the way I feel. So I was super excited about finally gettingthe chance to learn how to dance. I should have known better. Dancing, like everything else, is a specific skill which requires both practice, perseverance and hard work. And learning new things. Trying to learn the things I was asked to learn today has been, by far, the most challenging thing I have ever done. I now have a great deal more respect for dancers.

I can see how dance lessons would help any acting student. Dancing requires you to be constantly aware (constant vigilance!) of and in control of every part of your body. It takes an astounding amount of muscular strength, flexibility, and practice. Dancing, more than anything else, I think, is an exercise which requires you to develop particular habits and routines for your body, so that you can manipulate it more easily. It's like sense memory.

When you memorize a song on the piano, you don't memorize the sheet music. The playing of the song--through enough repetitions--becomes an automatic habit, so that eventually you can just put your fingers down on the keyboard and play. You're memorizing the feel of the song--which fingers you are using to hit the keys and when. Dancing is similar, as is acting. Rehearse a routine or performance enough with a specific objective in mind, and you can learn the entire routine perfectly.

But unlike a pianist's mistakes, which are easy to spot and to hear, a dancer or an actor--or even a singer--has to be more aware of everything that they do, so they can spot their own subtle mistakes and correct them. And eventually, acheive a performance they can be proud of. And those tiny mistakes--those subtle things that you want or need to correct for a performance--they really only matter to the performer. In my mind, that makes them more important than anything the audience sees.

Have a elear objective in mind. Be aware of your choices, your actions, both physically and vocally.
Sense memory. I'll have to remember that.

Btw--I want to wish Ian all the best, and hope he is still well and recovering from his surgery. Any surgery, however minor or major it is, is both exhausting an taxing on mental physical and emotional qualities. So get well soon Ian, and I hope you're back on your feet tommorow. (ps--please don't overtax yourself)

Reinforce--If you don't know your name I can't help you. The two Prosperas! Stage planking. Jason, for stepping up to the plate and being awesome.